Waiting for a hurricane to pass through can be an anxious time. Crystal Turman is the founder and director of Wellspring Counseling Services in Satellite Beach. She’s a former rocket scientist and now helps people navigate trauma and other challenges through neurofeedback, EMDR, and traditional counseling, among other therapies.
Turman said the best way to cope while a storm is approaching and through it is to unplug and make sure you have all of the important paperwork and belongings you need with you, no matter where you are.
TURMAN: So once you've done all the things and everything is ready, then unplug from the news and try your hardest to do something that's relaxing. I just had a friend call me and say, “Crystal I've been baking all day. Is that a good thing?” And I did the thing and watched too much news, and I talked to her about it a little bit, and we devised a little flyer about that, specifically, just unplugging and doing the things that make you feel as prepared as you can.
So which county are you in, and is it Satellite Beach, or is it Melbourne?
My office is in Satellite Beach, but I'm in Melbourne, and that is in Brevard County. I am on the east coast, we are getting all those calls, and we're trying to explain we're not asked to evacuate at this time, but we will. I think it helps loved ones to know we have a plan. We are paying attention to what the officials say. We're not being rebels over here, but they only have whatever limited information they have in other parts of the country and world. For that matter, our son is overseas, and he called us, too.
I don't know how long it takes to foster resiliency, but I mean, can we foster resiliency during this waiting period so when the storm is over that we have a response that is maybe the best that we have?
I absolutely love that question because it's coming at it from a positive perspective. For me, one of the most favorite parts of working with trauma is the post-traumatic growth, the growth that would not have otherwise happened if it wasn't for that trauma. And I think fostering that is remembering that, oh, I remember I got through this hard time, and I remember what helped me through that hard time. And I remember this inspirational person who spoke into that situation with me, those are ways that we foster resilience by reminding ourselves of the strength and the hard times that we've been through and others that we know that have mentored us along the way.
So Crystal, so we're talking about heading up to the storm, but what about after? I mean, people, this storm is really daunting, and a lot of people on this side of the state have already been through Helene. There's been piles and piles of garbage, and not all of that can be picked up before this storm, so I don't know the coping afterwards with whatever may come that's going to be.
Yeah, that can be very extensive, because now we're talking about the greater community at large. And we have a lot of people in our area who moved up here after Hurricane Andrew. So not only are they dealing with the current storm, they're dealing with memories of how bad some of what they lived through was at that time. And so, we have to remember that when we're driving around and we're in the grocery stores — like we're dealing with people who might be having reactions that really aren't about the situation that's right before us, because they're bringing their life experience with them, so having patience with one another and with ourselves that we might be surprised at what pops up. And what stresses us out when maybe something that normally wouldn't stress us out is causing us stress, we can show ourselves grace as well as others, by just being aware, “Oh, I am feeling a little anxious,” or “Oh, wow, I'm feeling that was an intense reaction to something, I would have not normally reacted that way.” Maybe I need to attend to something within myself, and what that would look like afterwards is basically asking yourself and others, what is the biggest need in this situation right now, and giving ourselves permission to address that and let those other things go.
Well, obviously life is more important than stuff, but when you are settled into your home and maybe your house proud, or you love living in Florida and you face devastation after this storm. I mean, what can you do? There are people who just give up at that point, and it's, it's really a hard loss. How can we help our neighbors in that situation?
I think that is one of the best healing agents, is coming together. There is nothing like what our communities look like than after the aftermath of a storm. I recall when 2004, when we had three hurricanes come back-to-back here, and that's when we really got to know each other. We went and checked on our neighbors. There was extension cords running across the street from the houses that had generators and power to houses that didn't. And you know, it's nice to know that we can rely on each other. But also, don't be afraid to ask. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid to ask if somebody needs help and just to have that, you know, check in on your neighbors, check in. Don't assume that they have people to check in on them. And it's okay if they had five people checking on them. Better to have more than to have nobody. But when we're pouring back into our communities in whatever form, if we're cooking or we're, you know, just checking on each other or volunteering to help move debris, if that's something that you're able to do, being a part of the cleanup, doing something physical with your grief is something I always like to talk about.
Any special tips for children in this? Because it can be really scary for children, and afterward, like processing after the storm?
You know, asking children a lot of times what we think they need isn't what they need at all, and we might not even have an idea of what they could be conceiving. I remember when I was a little girl, I thought the world was black and white, because all the old movies were black and white. So I referenced something, you know way back when, before the world got color, and it surprised all of the adults in my life. And so, I keep that in mind when I'm working with children or talking to children. "So what are your concerns, and what do you want to know? What do you need to know?" And being able to give it to them. Give that information to them in a form that they can understand and appreciate, so that they can feel informed. Information is key and empowered. What will I do in this situation? So, what does this child need to help them, and it's going to depend on their age and stage of life and their abilities to comprehend.
