Despite the holiday cheer, there’s a dark side to this time of year. It’s a time when violence and neglect increases among families.
“The holidays are a wonderful time for a lot of folks, but there's a lot of stress that comes along with the holidays as well. So there is an increase of domestic violence cases occurring when those stressors occur, and oftentimes during the holidays,” said Lariana Forsythe, CEO of CASA Pinellas, the county’s official provider of domestic violence and support services.
Domestic violence is about “power and control,” she said. During the holidays, abusers may feel they are losing control because they are not able to isolate the person they’re abusing as they might ordinarily do amid family gatherings and public events.
That can cause them to act out more privately but also present friends and relatives with an opportunity to spot warning signs.
Forsythe expects an uptick in the number of calls for help starting in January, when people return to more normal schedules and have the chance to process what may have occurred over the holidays.
Children are also at-risk
Advocates working with survivors of child abuse and neglect are bracing for a similar spike.
Reports typically increase 10% to 20% after the holidays, when kids return to school and may open up to others about mistreatment, said Mike Trepper, president and CEO of Pasco Kids First.
The organization is one of 26 Children's Advocacy Centers in the state. It aims to provide children with a safe space during abuse investigations and offers trauma support services.
Kids are more likely to be left unsupervised over the holidays or have to spend time with friends or relatives they don't usually see who may hurt them.
Parents or guardians who are struggling emotionally or financially may also take holiday stress out on kids.
"So they have to manage their own stress, find their own stress relief, seek mental health support and understand that things trickle down to kids that we may often not see," said Trepper. "And the kids may not share how it's impacting them until it's almost too late."
How to get help
Child abuse and neglect can affect any community, though the risk is higher when a family member is struggling with addiction, said Trepper.
There is no typical survivor of domestic abuse, Forsythe cautions. But most are women.
“Again, predominantly gendered, but you see domestic violence in every ethnic group. You see it in every socioeconomic level. It really doesn't discriminate. And you can't tell by looking on the surface who is experiencing domestic violence,” she said.
Abuse is something that grows over time.
“It's a long process to groom somebody into maybe doubting their choices. If they're constantly told that they're wrong, you begin to maybe not trust your judgment. There [are] a lot of factors like, again, back to the isolation. If you don't have your community talking to you and helping you say, ‘Well, what that perpetrator did or that person did to you may not be the right thing or that viewpoint might not be the right viewpoint,’ ” she said.
Florida has a system of official organizations that can help domestic violence survivors get to a safe place and get their lives back, said Forsythe. It all starts with a call to the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline, which will direct you to an official local provider. That number is 1-800-500-1119.
And for family or friends who suspect they know someone being abused, Forsythe said the best thing to do is listen without judgment.
If a child confides mistreatment in you, it's critical you believe them, added Trepper.
"There's sometimes a misconception around that, and that's why we see continued harm to children, because people, oftentimes adults, kind of disregard them," he said.
You can let experts ultimately determine a plan of action, but your job is to take children seriously, said Trepper.
To report known or suspected child abuse, contact 1-800-962-2873.
If you think someone could be in immediate danger, call 911.
